Roy the Regulator
by Sk8er Chica
Summary: Roy O'Bannon comes to live at the Tunstall ranch. Young GunsShanghai Noon crossover
1. Chapter 1: The Arrival

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!

A/N: This is my second attempt at a _Young Guns _crossover. This takes place when Chavez first arrived at John's, so he mostly speaks Spanish.

* * *

Roy O'Bannon sat slumped over in his saddle, a river of sweat trickling down the back of his neck. He reflected on his recent near-death experience. His gang had buried him alive in the desert following a botched train robbery (which, honestly, hadn't entirely been his fault.) A Chinaman had happened along and given Roy chopsticks with which to dig himself out. The chopsticks had worked, but the effort involved had drained Roy of all his strength. Then he had ridden off in a random direction, so he currently had no idea where the hell he was. 

In his brief career as an outlaw, Roy had stared death in the face several times, but he had never felt as close to dying as he did now. He was parched, having finished the last of his water a long time ago. His head was pounding and swimming all at the same time. He hadn't had a decent meal in upwards of a week...

Suddenly, he saw a beacon of hope on the horizon, a beacon in the shape of a whitewashed adobe house.  
-----------------------------  
'_Who could that be?' _wondered Serena Riddle as she looked up from a shirt she was mending and saw a figure approaching the property on a black horse.

Strangers came to call on a fairly regular basis at the home of her employer, John Tunstall, so she wasn't overly worried. Usually, it was just a young man who needed work or a place to spend the night.

Serena squinted and the figure came into focus. The stranger was indeed a young man. His hair was so blond it was almost white and there was a roguish twinkle in his clear blue eyes. His nose was extremely crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice and not healed properly either time.

Jose Chavez _y _Chavez kept a wary eye on the man. The Army's brutal attack on Red Sands had caused him to develop a deep mistrust of strangers, especially when the stranger in question was a white man.

Serena brushed away a bit of hair that had been obstructing her vision, approached the stranger, and asked, "May I help you?"

"Water," said the stranger in a barely audible voice.

"Pardon me?" said Serena.

"Water!" the stranger shouted hoarsely.

"Of course," she said. "Follow me."

While leading the stranger to the backyard, Serena tried to gain an impression of the man through his clothing. His attire gave very mixed signals. His well-worn boots, chaps, and jacket suggested he was either a cowhand or an outlaw; his purple pinstriped shirt and matching paisley bandanna made him look like a bloody pansy.

The stranger staggered over to the well and began gulping water out of the bucket, spilling most of it down his front as he did so. He eventually had to stop for breath and turned around to face Serena.

"Thank you so much," he said weakly. "What's your name, pretty lady?"

"Serena Riddle," she replied.

"I'm Roy O'Bannon." He held out a hand and Serena shook it. Roy smiled. "For a woman who works on a farm, you have such soft, lovely hands."

Serena blushed. "Mr. O'Bannon--"

"Please, please, call me Roy," he interrupted.

"Roy. Would you like a fresh shirt since yours is wet?"

"Sure, but only as long as it's not any trouble." Roy answered.

"Not at all," Serena assured him. She held out the shirt she had been mending, which happened to belong to Chavez.

Roy, who had never concerned himself with modesty, immediately stripped off his jacket, bandanna, and purple shirt in front of her. Serena tried not to stare at his muscular arms and flat stomach. Roy took his time putting on the replacement shirt.

Chavez came into the backyard to make sure his good friend Serena was all right. He was more than a little pissed off to see the stranger standing half-naked in front of her. His temper rose even more when he saw the stranger putting on _his _shirt.

"Ma'am," said Roy, now buttoning the last button, "thanks again for the water. You probably saved my life. And thanks for loaning me your brother's shirt too. Let me know if there's anything, I mean _anything, _I can do to repay you and your brother."

"You know something, Roy?" said Serena thoughtfully. "There _is _something you can do. Stay here and work for our employer. After all, sheep need a shepherd."

"I appreciate your kindness and your hospitality," Roy began. "I really do, but I'm not a preacher. I'm not even really a religious man, to tell you the truth."

"_Ella significa que tenemos una multitud de oveja que necesita tender, pendejo_." said Chavez. (She means we have a flock of sheep that need tending, asshole).

"What did he say?" asked Roy, whose knowledge of Spanish was limited.

"Nothing," Serena said hastily.

"Well, anyway, back to the shepherd thing, I guess I can think about it," said Roy. "But can you do me one more favor? Would you mind if I stuck around for dinner? I feel like I'm about to die of hunger."

"_Yo contentamente le pondré fuera de su miseria_." offered Chavez. (I will gladly put you out of your misery).

_"Por favor no sea grosero_," begged Serena. (Please don't be rude).

"_ ¿Puedo tener yo una palabra con usted en la cocina_?" asked Chavez.

_"Si_," replied Serena. "Excuse us for a moment, Mr. O--Roy."


	2. Chapter 2: Talking to John

Serena and Chavez entered the house through the back door, which led directly into the kitchen. Serena checked the clock and realized it was time for her to start preparing supper. She tied an apron over her clothes and pushed up the sleeves of her shirt. She carefully kneaded the bread dough she had set out to rise earlier in the day.

"_¿Por qué es usted grosero a Roy_?" she asked. (Why are you being rude to Roy?)

"_Porque yo lo odio_." Chavez replied simply. (Because I hate him).

"_Usted apenas sabe Roy_." Serena pointed out. (You hardly know Roy).

"_El es un animal. El se quitó su ropas delante de usted._" (He is an animal. He took his clothes off in front of you).

"_No todas sus ropas. El acaba de tomar de su camisa mojada_." (Not all his clothes. He just took off his wet shirt).

"Now, now," chided Roy, sticking his head in the open kitchen window. "No talking about me in your native tongue."

Chavez let out a snarl and Serena had to grab his arm to prevent him from throwing a dagger at Roy's face. _"¡Auséntese de ella o yo le cortaré a pedazos!" _Chavez shouted. (Stay away from her or I will cut you to pieces).

Roy's eyes got very wide. Even though he didn't know what Chavez had said, it had sounded very threatening. Chavez stomped angrily out of the kitchen, taking care to hit Roy with the door on his way out. Roy winced and rubbed the middle of his back.

"You know," he started, "I've been thinking about that shepherd job you offered me. I think I'd like to take it. Will you hire me?"

"I wouldn't mind you being our shepherd, but I'm only second-in-command here." said Serena as she peeled a large bowl of potatoes. "John's the one who makes the final decision."

"How soon can I talk to him?" Roy wanted to know.

"Right now if you like."

"I'm not exactly looking--"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," said Serena, opening the back door to let Roy in. "John's not one to judge a book by its cover."

Roy tried to brush away as much dust from his hair and clothing as possible while Serena led him down a short hallway. She paused outside a door and knocked.

"Do come in," said a British-accented voice from the other side.

Serena opened the door, revealing to Roy a study decorated in typical 19th century English elegance. Behind a shiny desk sat a kindly-looking elderly man; his name was John Tunstall.

"Ah, Miss Riddle," said John. "How are you today, m'dear?"

"Quite well, thank you, John," Serena said politely. Indicating the man beside her, she said, "He'd like to talk you about our opening for a shepherd."

"Hiya, Johnny-boy," said Roy. "Roy O'Bannon."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. O'Bannon." said John, shaking Roy's hand. He motioned to the chair in front of his desk. "Please sit down." Roy did so. "Now, Mr. O'Bannon, would you like to tell me a bit about yourself?"

"Um..." Roy began.

He hadn't known he would have to talk about himself to be hired, let alone do it with Serena standing around in the doorway. Whenever a nice-looking woman was nearby, he got tongue-tied and said stupid things. It didn't help that John was staring at him from across the desk.

"Well...I guess I'd say I'm a pretty simple guy. Not simple in the head or anything, just...what I'm trying to say is I'm not demanding," Roy stammered out. "All I ask is for some clothes, a roof over my head, at least a meal a day, an occasional back-rub--"

John raised an eyebrow at this, but didn't say anything.

"Have you ever done farm work before?" asked Serena.

Roy shook his head. "No. When I was a kid, I used to pick pockets and steal from the general store. I moved on to stealing horses and then I started robbing trains." Thinking his criminal past might ruin his chances of a job, he added quickly, "But I'm trying to change. My big goal in life now is to make enough money to settle down with a nice girl, have a lot of kids, and teach my kids the values I was never taught."

Serena had a bit of a gift for reading people and it seemed to heard that Roy was just saying some bullshit that would get him on John's good side. Surely after all the conmen he had seen in his lifetime, John would be able to see through Roy. He _couldn't _actually believe him.

Surprisingly, John looked utterly convinced by Roy's speech. "Admirable ambitions, young man," he said. "Are you willing to learn how to do farm work?"

"Well, I do like to learn things," said Roy. "But I'm more of a Shetland Pony than a Clydesdale. Not so task-oriented."

Serena figured that by tomorrow morning, she would have seen the last of Roy O'Bannon. John could kick him off the property as soon as he denied Roy the job, but that scenario was unlikely. John didn't like for any of the strangers who stopped by to leave with an empty stomach. Roy would probably eat supper with them, spend the night, and be gone before noon the next day. There was no way John would hire someone as apparently lazy as Roy.

She idly examined the fingernails on her left hand, waiting for the blow to fall. What came out of John's mouth shocked her so much that she nearly fainted:

"You seem like an acceptable candidate, Mr. O'Bannon. Congratulations, you got the job."


End file.
